Every year I say I will write a novel and every year I do not write a novel.
I will plan to write it and even create a schedule to add a block of time for writing in my daily or weekly routine. I may even start to write my latest literary genius. However, before long, my life gets overwhelming, my schedule goes out the window, my creative energy is sapped, and I do not make time for writing.
Once again, I made the new year’s resolution to write a novel. It was going well for two months and then a repeat of all the other years happened: my seasonal depression hit, even harder than usual, and everything around me went haywire shortly thereafter… such as finding out my mother’s tumor came back and she required another surgery. This meant my mother would need care and someone to take over her role as caretaker for my grandfather. Not hard to guess who got both jobs.
The story I had been working on up until then that had once filled me with excitement now held no interest for me. I thought if I just got back to it, reread what I’d written so far and sat down to continue writing, I’d get that old feeling of enthusiasm back. But I couldn’t work up the energy to so much as open the document on my computer.
And that’s when I realized I was burnt out and had been for a long time. I spent years trying to do all the things, trying to live the life that was expected of me, attempting to please everyone around me, and now I was always tired and irritable and had no motivation and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I desperately needed a break or I was going to have a breakdown.
It took me nearly years to realize it wasn’t just procrastination that was the obstacle to my writing dreams, it was also my mental health. My body had been trying to tell me I needed to rest, my brain had been trying to tell me I was not doing what makes me happy. When I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to do all the things and started forgiving myself for being human, I started seeing improvements.
I felt my creative energy coming back.
Taking a break is hard. Not just because you’re so used to being busy all the time that you feel guilty for not being busy, but because of other people making you feel guilty too. Half of my relatives keep sending me job ads because I’m technically unemployed now that my work contract ended. They don’t care how the idea of a nine-to-five right now makes me want to cry, they just think I’m lazy for not being more busy. Apparently, taking care of two people and trying to write a novel doesn’t qualify as busy enough.
So if you want to write a novel and haven’t yet, pause and think about why. Are you prioritizing other things? Make a list of what you do each week, and then put those in order of importance. Anything you don’t place above writing can wait until after you’ve taken some time to write. Do you lack confidence in your writing skills? Look into taking a class or joining a local writing group (try your library) to help you improve.
Or, like me, has your creative well run dry? Stop being disappointed in yourself that you’re not feeling up to writing and instead allow your mind and body to recuperate from the non-stop stress of daily life. You are human with a limited amount of mental and physical energy, so you need to let those batteries recharge. There’s no need to be hating on yourself just because you aren’t superwoman. Ask for the support you need and, in time, you’ll be imagining up new worlds again.
Once you know the answer to why you’re not writing, you can more easily find a solution and finally write that novel. It worked for me!
JaimeKristal 