It has been a while, I know. I went to all the trouble of revamping my blog only to get so caught up in school and work and life that I stopped posting again. Part of it came down to mental health. I simply could not juggle everything and I was also struggling with a bit of depression. So many of the things I love doing were no longer interesting and, after I finished with my daily responsibilities, I became a couch potato binge-watching on Kdramas.
The reason why I watched so much television was due to a reading slump. My third since the pandemic began. Last year’s shlump lasted about six months, as evidenced by my lack of posts in the second half of 2021, and this year I am now going on month four. I did read a lot at the beginning of the year, yet only posted to my bookstagram account. I simply could not work up the energy or enthusiasm to write my usual reviews here.
Some of that slump was caused by my depression, but a bit of the disinterest was because I got discouraged. One of my friends basically told me that having a blog was worthless compared to having a family. It made me feel as if all of my accomplishments were insignificant because it wasn’t a marriage, a home, or a child. Why is it a woman’s worth comes down to her ability to pop out progeny? I only ever seem to be asked by people when I will be getting married or having children. If I am lucky, I might be asked when will I be getting a job… As if the one I was already doing wasn’t relevant enough to be acknowledged.
Those feelings of being a societal failure didn’t help my mental health and made me question what I was doing with my life. I simply could not figure out why I was unable to find happiness in the patriarchal heteronormative rat race like everybody else seemed to want me to be. I started feeling unsuccessful, unimportant, and creatively drained all of the time. I wasn’t achieving my dreams because I was far too busy trying to obtain the goals I was told I should want instead.
Now I am making some changes, both to my life and to this blog. Have no fear though, as I will eventually start doing reviews again. I’m just not going to write them when I am trying to write my own novel. That’s right! Rather than focusing on analyzing other people’s stories, I am going to refill my creative well by finally sitting down to write my own book just like I always dreamed of. So the change you are going to see is more posts for WiP Wednesday that will be about my writing journey.
Hope you enjoy!
JaimeKristal 